You Think You Know Your Wife, Do You?
Posted by: richman in harold sala, tags: healing, inspirational, motivational, spiritual, wifeBe very careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15
You think you know your wife or girlfriend, do you? Well, how about taking a few moments to answer ten questions. You may not know as much as you think.
For a starter, try question
#1: What is her favorite flower? No, not Betty Crocker.
#2: When she has a headache, does she take one aspirin or two? Or something else, or nothing?
#3: Name two fairly common foods which she cannot stand.
#4: If she had been with her best friend who shared a juicy bit of gossip with her, would she tell you?
#5: Which of these can she not do? a) touch her toes? b) do a headstand? c) add a quart of oil to the family car?
#6: What size shoe does she wear?
#7: Would she rather have spaghetti or pizza?
#8: Has she read a good book in the past month? If so, what is the title?
#9: Would she read the front page of a newspaper before turning to the women’s section?
#10: If given a choice, would she rather spend an evening at a good movie or at a concert?
There you have ten questions that could spark a lot of good communication. Strangely enough, we often think we know each other when, in fact, we fail to see much beyond the surface, and often do not even see that. If you doubt that, then tell me what your wife was wearing when you left the house this morning.
Communication, though, is far more than merely cataloging likes and dislikes; it is seeing beyond the exterior to the very heart of a person. It is a two way street. Altogether too often we know certain things about each other. The 10 questions are a reflection of knowledge, and you may have scored quite well on them without really knowing each other. Apart from communication at a meaningful level we can be intimate strangers, never going beneath the surface.
I like to define communication as an exchange both verbally and non verbally between two people. It is sharing ideas, thoughts, attitudes, feelings, emotions and information. It is all of that plus a great deal more. To communicate effectively you have to meet each other on the same level. If one of you takes a superior attitude and talks down to the other, then you are not communicating effectively. By the same token, if you consider yourself to be inferior to the other, you will find it hard to really be yourself.
One of the greatest barriers to communication is the refusal to accept another just as he or she is. We try, instead, to make that person into the kind of person we would like him or her to be. By the way, how did you do on those ten questions?
If you scored nine or ten right, then you are superior, but if you scored seven or eight, then you are average, if you scored below seven, then you had better get glasses. Other men may be noticing what you are missing.
Just as you have been assuming a good many things about the special person in your life, it is also possible you have been assuming that she knows how much you care. Maybe you have not told her for a long time and just expect her to know this. Nonsense! “Husbands,” wrote the Apostle Paul, “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). That is one thing, men, that you cannot afford to assume; you have to make that kind of love a reality.
Commitment and communication are the two golden keys to a fruitful marriage. Without them, no marriage can long succeed. You make the commitment and you learn to communicate. But apart from commitment there is no meaningful communication.
Resource reading: Ephesians 5:1-21.
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“The preceding material was written by Dr. Harold J. Sala, and is copyrighted. Reproduction for sale or financial profit is prohibited. Permission to reproduce this article was granted by Guidelines, Inc.”
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