Daily Manna from Heaven

by Dr. Harold Sala

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” -Ephesians 5:22-25

Nearly three centuries ago the Welsh-born English minister Matthew Henry wrote that when God made woman, he did not take a bone from man’s foot so he could trample a woman under his feet. Nor did he take a bone from Adam’s head so he could dominate her. Instead he took a rib from under his arm so he could protect her, and close to his heart so he could love her. How could it be better said?

That men often don’t know how to treat women is obvious! It is not only a cultural issue; it’s a genetic issue as well. While God gave to men the instinct to lead, He never gave them license to dominate or abuse.

“Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church,” admonished Paul. And Peter, the fisherman turned preacher, wrote, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7).

It is not only in physical strength that men and women differ. What drives them is different. How they communicate is different. How they approach their work or relate to their families is different. Even how they express themselves is different. Failing to understand those differences produces arguments, abuse, and layers of misunderstanding, centuries deep.

The feminist or women’s rights movement has been making an attempt to put an end to the lopsided abuse which some women have received; yet the very attempt to put an end to injustice has robbed some women of motherhood, companionship, and marriage.

When sexual differences are respected, three things happen: First, individual needs can be met in marriage. Ambrose Bierce wrote, “Marriage consists of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all just two.” God never intended sexual differences to pit men and women against each other in an unending battle of the sexes.

It was His intention to let those differences meet each other’s needs– for each one’s strength to play upon the other’s weaknesses, to allow each to complement the other in such a way that a couple forms a bond in marriage which allows each to meet the needs of a mate in such a manner that each derives a satisfaction and happiness which can come no other way.

The second result of recognizing sexual differences is that an interdependence in marriage produces harmony and happiness. This concept of absolute independence just doesn’t work. A plus and a minus produce a whole, but two minuses only produce negative feelings and emotions. When each person learns what part he or she plays in a marriage, a team spirit develops.

The third result is that there is an intimacy which touches every part of a person’s life. This is far more than sexual, but an emotional union which includes the spiritual as well as the emotional and physical.

A final thought: Have you ever had your arm in a cast? Do you remember how awkward it was when you tried to scratch your ear but found that your arm was pointed out somewhere in space? What normally would be a pretty simple thing becomes awkward and difficult.

That’s the way it is when we interfere with God’s order. Following God’s orders in relation to our differences is not only good for a marriage, but is also good for the individuals involved. You just can’t improve on some things, and that’s for sure.

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