Archive for January, 2008

By: Dr. Harold Sala

I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. 2 Corinthians 11:28-29

A bad day, said someone, is when you learn that your insurance policy covers falling off the roof but not landing on the ground. Have you ever observed, however, that how people respond when they hit the ground has more to do with how they view life than where their bruises are when they connect with terra firma?

Take, for example, a conversation I had with Jerry Poe, a plumbing contractor friend of mine, who tells about being called to locate a leaking pipe beneath a concrete slab in an apartment building. Taking a jackhammer, they broke up the concrete floor, found the leak and fixed it.
First, the leak was in the bedroom floor. Then it was in the little kitchen, then the living room.
Then the leak sprouted in another bedroom. Every time the whole little place was upended. Of course, there was inconvenience and damage.

Speaking to the manager of the apartment complex, Jerry commented about how gracious was the woman living there, who didn’t seem to be greatly upset by the inconvenience. The manager replied, “She is a Nazi Concentration Camp survivor and I’m sure that she considers this only to be a “minor inconvenience.”

Leaks in a concrete floor are—yes, “a minor inconvenience” compared to enduring life in a concentration camp, wondering whether or not you would live to see the light of another day, let alone live to see your grandchildren someday walk down the aisle to claim a husband or wife in marriage.

Fascinating to me is that those who have experienced great tragedies—say surviving a plane crash, or a desperate, life-threatening illness, or a rescue having been trapped underground in a mining accident—never seem to be upset by what bothers most people—computers not working, the water pipe under the concrete slab collapsing, or you missing your flight at the airport.

The issue is perspective, learning to assess how much stress something is really worth in relationship to the damage it does to your emotional well-being. When I was a boy, there was a shoe repair shop on Pearl Street that I would occasionally visit coming to or from school. The cobbler there had posted a sign that I will never forget, that said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff; it’s all small stuff.”

For a few moments, friend, make a list of what is creating stress in your life. Then ask yourself, “How many of these items caught God by surprise? How many of them are beyond His control?

And how many of them are death-threatening?”

If it is true that nothing happens apart from what a sovereign God has allowed (the difficulty confronting you), and that the Shepherd of your soul has promised to walk with you through the dark valley as well as over the mountain pass, why should you be upset by a “minor inconvenience” that you think is a major disaster?

When I set up an autoexec.bat for a computer operating with the CPM system—now made obsolete by Microsoft—I entered a line as a reminder that helped me keep those “minor inconveniences” in perspective. It read, “Remember, this too shall pass.” It’s good news, friend, to realize that when you are God’s child the worst you will ever have it is now—in this life.

When John Wesley was held up and robbed at gunpoint, he wrote in his diary that he thanked God that his life was not taken, and he thanked God his horse was not stolen and, yes, that he was able to get to his destination. Forget the insurance policy that covers falling off the roof.

Better to land on your feet with bruised feet and think of it as a “minor inconvenience.” Indeed.

Resource reading: 2 Corinthians 11:16-29

James Parmis Ministries - www.JamesParmis.com

James Parmis Ministries
http://www.JamesParmis.com

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How To Say NO Toxic People In Your Life
By: Bo Sanchez

As a teen, I was part of a tiny Catholic youth group.

In that group, I was called “St. Francis” because I loved Lady Poverty, wore the crummiest shirts, the most horrid brown sandals, and prayed in the chapel the whole day. (Actually, I slept most of the time, but that’s just a secret between you and me.)

One of my friends was called “Brother Leo” because he imitated me, the way the real Brother Leo imitated his master, St. Francis.

If I prayed in a particular way—with my eyes closed, my hands clasped, my head bent down and tilted to the left—he’d pray in the same way.

If I wore an ugly shirt because of my love for poverty, he’d wear the same thing.

Because I was good-looking, he’d try to be good-looking. (Haha.)

One day, his family left for the US for good, and we lost touch…

Six years later, he returned for a visit. The old youth group was excited to have a little reunion. So we met up with “Brother Leo” again.

When I saw him at the reunion, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Nor could anyone in the room. Brother Leo was wearing a loud purple shirt with a gold band around his neck. And in thick slang, he greeted us, “Hey Dude!”

That wasn’t so bad.

While all of us were picking up our jaws from the floor, he said, “Let’s go out and look for a real parteeeh. Let’s look for some chicks! Man, I love girls!”

The transformation was unbelievable.

Where was the prayerful, quiet, humble, pure guy that we knew?

Here’s what I learned from life: We need to deliberately shape our outer world before it shapes us.

What Are The Two Most Powerful Forces That Shape Your Life?

It was Charlie “Tremendous” Jones who said that You will be in five years the sum total of the books you read and the people you are around.

I believe the two most powerful forces that shape our life are our relationships and our media. I repeat: If you know that your outer world shapes you, make a decision now to shape your outer world. Because you can!

Here’s a story of someone who didn’t use this power…

The Story Of A Wise King That Wasn’t So Wise After All

The Guinness Book of World Records says that no one beats King Solomon when it comes to wives. The guy had 700 wives with 300 concubines.

Believe me, I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes on Valentines Day. The chaos! While walking around his palace, he’d say to one, “I love you Leah,”; And to another, “I love you Rachael,”; And to another still, “I love you… uh, Melissa or Melanie?”

Here’s what the Bible says: King Solomon loved many foreign women… They were from nations about which the Lord had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love. (How many of you know that just because you’re romantically in love with someone DOESN’T mean that you’re supposed to be with that person?) As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God…[1]

The wisest man on Earth didn’t choose his relationships well.

If you don’t want to commit his mistake, let me share with you 3 powerful steps to create your outer world.

The 3 Powerful Steps To Re-Create Your Outer World

I guarantee you. If you do these 3 steps, you’ll not only be free from enslaving habits, you’ll actually grow yourself and fulfil your greatest dreams.

Step #1: Say No to Toxic People

Step #2: Say Yes to Terrific People

Step #3: Control Your Media

Let me explain these steps one by one…

To All Those Who Want To Experience God’s Power In Their Lives…

Step #1:
Say No to Toxic People

There are many types of Toxic Persons, but let me focus on 6 types that you should avoid:

Toxic Person #1: Those who encourage your addiction

Toxic Person #2: Those who constantly hurt you

Toxic Person #3: Those who control you through force

Toxic Person #4: Those who control you through manipulation

Toxic Person #5: Those who pass their responsibilities to you

Toxic Person #6: Those who whine about life and invalidate you

Do you have Toxic People in your life? God says, Blessed is the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful.[2]

Let’s heed those wise words!

Let’s find out if you have Toxic People in your life…

Toxic Person #1:
Those Who Encourage Your Addiction

You know this story very well because it happens too often.

My friend “Jim” was a drug addict. He entered a rehab for a year. In that entire year, Jim didn’t touch the drug. He went back home a new man.

Not a few days after, an old friend who used to take drugs with Jim visited him at home and offered him shabu. Jim said no, “I don’t take that anymore.” But as the days progressed, he kept on meeting his old friends. After only three months, Jim snorted shabu again—and his addiction was more severe than before.

Question: What caused his downfall?

Answer: He shaped his inner world, but he didn’t shape his outer world.

He needed a new set of friends. He needed a new itinerary. He also needed new hobbies, new music, new activities…

It’s pretty obvious. If you’re an alcoholic, stop hanging out with friends who drink. Hang out with new friends who don’t. If you’re a gambler, cut friendships with other gamblers. Hang out with people who don’t gamble. And so on.

Many people don’t use their power to choose their friends. They just accept the people who call up, visit, and appear on their doorstep.

Big mistake. Don’t do that. Jesus says If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.[3]

Go out and choose the kind of people you like to become. (More on this later.)

Toxic Person #2:
Those Who Constantly Hurt You

Do you avoid danger?

If you see a rabid Doberman, foaming in the mouth, sharp fangs exposed, racing towards you at top speed, would you run away as fast as Flash? Or would you stand there with a smile, stretch out your hand and say, “Here kitty, kitty…”

I bet you’d run faster than you ever did in your entire life.

Unless you have a death wish.

The Wise Book says a prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple (foolish) keep going and suffer for it.[4]

Here’s a sad fact. After my years of counselling hordes of people, I’ve realized many have a death wish when it comes to choosing their boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, business partners, spiritual leaders, organizations, and friends.

Because they choose abusers.

They get physically abused. Verbally abused. Emotionally abused. Spiritually abused.
And after an abusive relationship breaks up, they jump into another abusive relationship. Insane, I tell you. But after 27 years in ministry, it’s more common than you think.

I have only one explanation for this crazy phenomenon: Victims like being victims. Why? Perhaps because they want to pay for their sins. Or perhaps they feel they deserve the punishment. Or perhaps they feel superior to the abuser. Or perhaps that’s how they get the empathy from other people.

But this is sick.

Let me shout this to the rooftops: Get rid of all abusers in you life!

Don’t Just Stand There—Do Something!

If your spouse is an abuser, get away as far as possible from him or her. I’m not saying get a divorce right away. But don’t live in the same house with an abuser until the person gets help and gets healed.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend is an abuser, what are you doing still sticking with that person? You should have left the first time abuse took place.

If your organization, fraternity, club, prayer group, or church demeans you, manipulates you, drains you, abuses you—why are you still there? Look for a group that blesses you and nourishes you.

If your business partner steals from you, cheats on you, or disrespects you—get out, sell out, and find another business partner.

Remember: When you’re with an abuser, you create more inner pain, and inner pain can produce more hidden addictions.
Jesus says, Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.[5] You are sacred. You are the pearls. So don’t throw yourself to dogs and pigs.
Some people however may not be obviously abusers, but they abuse you in a less obvious way…

Toxic Person #3:
Those Who Control You Through Force

There are people who control you through subtle aggression. They intimidate you. They’re bigger. They’re louder. They’re scary. They’re bullies in nice clothes.
The Controller could be your husband. Or your grandmother. Or your friend. Or your boss.

Let me tell you a story I read recently…

One day, a young guy was walking on a dark street. Suddenly, out of an Acacia tree, an old man wrapped in a black robe appeared. His eyes were fierce, his face pale, his beard unkempt. He pushed a black book towards the young man and ordered, “You need to read this book! Buy it for P700.”

The young man was shocked and mumbled, “I don’t have P700…”

But the elderly man spoke with a louder voice, “You need to read this book! Give me P700.” So with shaking hands, the lad fumbled with his wallet and handed P700 to him. The mysterious man placed the black book in the chap’s hand and said, “Whatever you do, never look at the last page. Or you will regret it.” He then walked towards the field behind them and suddenly disappeared!

The young man went home, shaken to the core. In the evening, he started reading the book. It was all about ghosts and werewolves and vampires! After awhile, he grew tired, closed the book and went to bed.

But he couldn’t sleep. Tossing and turning, the young man could only think of one thing: What was on the last page of the book? What will I regret seeing there?

Finally, he couldn’t take the suspense any longer. With every ounce of courage he could muster, he grabbed the black book. With trembling fingers, he opened it to the last page…

And when he saw it, at once, waves of regret filled him!

The last page was empty.

Except for a small note that said, “P49.50, National Bookstore.”

Friend, never get intimidated to do what you don’t want to do.

Because often, you’ll get robbed.

Toxic Person #4:
Those Who Control You Through Manipulation

There is another kind of Controller that doesn’t do it through aggression but through manipulation. In an even more subtle way, they will control you.

My example is Delilah, the girlfriend of Samson.

The Bible says Samson loved Delilah. But it doesn’t say that Delilah loved Samson. Instead, Delilah used Samson. Delilah needed Samson. (When will we realize that need is different from love?) As you read the story, you realize that Delilah never loved Samson at all.

Remember, “Controllers” are “Users”, and Delilah was a Controller. (Do you know of any “Users” in your life?)

One day, Delilah was approached by her Philistine leaders. They wanted to capture Samson but couldn’t because of his magical strength. So they offered her 1,100 Shekels from each of them if she could discover the secret of his supernatural strength.

So she went to Samson and asked, “How can anyone capture you?”

First, he lied. Samson said, “If you tie me with brand new ropes, I’ll be as weak as any man.” And while he slept, Delilah tied him up with brand new ropes and called the soldiers of the Philistine leaders to capture him. But like snapping thread, Samson broke free from the ropes and chased after the men.

Wasn’t that enough proof for Delilah’s deception?

If I were Samson, I would simply have said to her, “Delilah, you’re a snake. You don’t love me. This relationship is over. Get out of my life!”

But Samson didn’t do it. He tolerated her. And so Delilah sat on the lap of Samson and with a pout and a hurt look, she said, “You don’t love me, Samson…” (Her finger probably toying with his hair.)

“But I do!” Samson said defensively.

“No, you don’t,” she purred, “You lied to me. You haven’t told me the secret of your strength.” (Controllers like turning the table and pointing your mistakes, while hiding their glaring mistakes.)
Finally, out of exasperation, Samson says, “Okay, okay! Cut my hair and I’ll be as weak as any man.”[6] And while he slept, Delilah cut his hair. We know the end of the story. Samson was captured, his eyes gouged out, and he was imprisoned until he died while pushing two pillars.
Because Samson loved Delilah, he was desperate to believe in the lie that she also loved him. But she didn’t.

Who are the Delilahs in your life?

Here’s the truth: Samson may have been romantically attracted to Delilah, but he really didn’t love her. If he really loved her, he would have told her off and shooed her away. That was the kind of love she needed.

Toxic Person #5:
Those Who Pass Their Responsibilities To You

One day, a woman was chatting with her neighbor.

“I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a five hundred Peso bill to a bum.”

“Wow, you gave a bum five hundred Pesos?” her neighbor asked, “My gosh, that’s a lot of money. What did your husband say about it?”

“Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do,” she said, “my husband said, ‘Thanks.’”

Many people are just like that woman. They have bums in their lives, and these bums are friends and family.

In other words, they are hosts to parasites.

Remember: In biology, parasites can’t exist without a host. So the reason there are parasites is because there are people who like to play the role of host.

Are you a host to a human parasite? Someone who depends on you for money? Or for housing? Or for your service?

The human parasite isn’t a quadriplegic lying down in bed with a feeding tube stuck to his throat. The parasite is an otherwise healthy human being that simply wants you to be responsible for his life, period. He doesn’t want to take responsibility for his own life. He looks to you for his sole salvation. If you don’t help him, he’ll die.

Deep inside, you feel used. You really want to say “No more!” but you can’t because you feel guilty. In the process, you have lost your boundaries. When you do, there is so much inner pain within, and you escape through your hidden addictions.

Bad news: You think you’re doing good, but you really aren’t.

There’s A Difference Between
Feeling Good And Doing Good

Giving to a parasite makes you feel good.

But that doesn’t make it good. (Yep, there’s a difference.)

It assuages your guilt. But in fact, you’re causing more harm than good. You’re really a thief. You’re stealing their self-worth. More than that, when you take away the bad consequences of their irresponsibility through your constant rescuing, you take away the fuel that would have forced them to change.

Some justify helping a parasite by quoting Galatians 6:2 when St. Paul says, “Carry each other burdens…” But 3 verses later, St. Paul also says, “Each one should carry his own load.” That means if a parasite asks for your help, the best way to help him is to say ‘No’.

I give a lot. Dole outs are fine when there’s a real emergency. But I stop giving when his daily life becomes an emergency. Because most of my giving is focused on teaching people how to fish, not just giving fish. I give when I know the person will learn how to stand on his own two feet one day.

Finally, there’s a last type of Toxic Person you need to avoid…

Toxic Person #6:
Those Who Whine About Life and Invalidate You

There are people who are constantly negative—and they suck your energy dry. Believe me, after talking with them, you feel as though the sky is darker, the world is uglier, and life is more miserable than ever.

Whiners complain about everything. The heat. The cold. The boss. The money. The government. On and on and on. It never stops.

Whiners are bad, but invalidators are worse. Invalidators are whiners too, but instead of just criticizing the world, they specialize in criticizing you. When you mention a plan, a dream, or an original idea, you’ll hear an invalidator say, “You? Do that?” He’ll roll up his eyes, shake his head, and smirk. These pompous know-it-alls believe they know you and your future more than God. Before an invalidator, you’ll always remain small. Size up the invalidator’s “friends”, and you’ll discover other “small” people who bow down to his majesty.
Whiners will steal away your joy. Invalidators will steal away your dreams. If you don’t watch out, they’ll infect you with their virus and you’ll become a professional cynic like them.

Whiners and invalidators are losers. If your friends are losers, get a new set of friends. I’m not saying that you dump them. God wants you to love them. But you don’t have to hangout with them. Instead, hangout with people who respect you. And people who inspire you. And people who put their energies to build up rather than destroy. And people of life and beauty and love.

By The Way, Are You The Toxic Person?

Avoiding toxic people is difficult.

Avoiding being the toxic person is even more difficult.

What if you’re the abuser, or controller, or manipulator, or parasite, or whiner, or invalidator?

Ask people close by for their honest feedback.

If they say, “Yes,” own up to your behavior, quick. And get to work!
(What you’ll do is beyond the scope of this article, but I hope to discuss that another time.)

Step #2:
Say Yes to Terrific People

What is shaping you now?

The Good Book says, Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.[7] If you’re with terrific people, then these terrific people are sharpening you….

Terrific Person #1: Those Who Nourish You Emotionally

Terrific Person #2: Those Who Nourish You Spiritually

Terrific Person #3: Those Who Nourish You Intellectually

Terrific Person #4: Spend Time With God, Who Else?

Terrific Person #1:
Those Who Nourish You Emotionally

There are really only two types of great people in this world.

The first type of great person: After talking to him, you walk out impressed at how great that person is. You are dwarfed by his greatness.

Here’s the second type of great person: After talking to him, you walk out impressed at how great you are. You walk out a giant yourself—as big or even bigger than that great person.

Hang out with the second type of great person.
Hang out with people who make you feel important, respected, and worthy.

One of my mentors has a powerful way of making me feel important.

He’s a true blue, genuine Billionaire. But he treats me like I was more important than he is. It’s the small things that he does that make me leave his presence believing I’m special. The way he listens to me. The way he respects my opinion. The way he doesn’t laugh at my silly questions. Even common sense courtesy and respect. For example, after our meeting in his office, he’ll walk with me to my car. He won’t leave me until he knows I’m in my car and ready to go. Small things that tell me I’m a great man.

Look for people like that.

Terrific Person #2:
Those Who Nourish You Spiritually

You’re a soul with a temporary earthly existence.

Thus, your most important need is to be spiritually nourished.

I believe that many people are spiritually malnourished and they need God’s Word in their lives.

But more than knowledge, a spiritual leader should feed you with God’s love.

How? By his own love for you.

He doesn’t teach you because of pride. He teaches you because of love.

That’s where I want to grow—and boy do I have a long way to go.

When a spiritual leader believes he’s better, holier, and more righteous than anyone else in church, be wary. A good spiritual leader knows his faults and acknowledges them before everyone.

Look for your source of regularly spiritual nourishment.

Terrific Person #3:
Those Who Nourish You Intellectually

Do you have dreams?

Who are the people in the world that have already fulfilled your dream?

Hang out with them—and pick their brains.

Listen to their talks. Read their books. Attend their seminars.

There are two kinds of teachers. The first kind of teacher has a lot of book knowledge and nothing else. The second type of teacher has experiential knowledge, with mud on her shoes, blisters on her hands, and scars in her heart. She’s someone who teaches from her battlefield experience. Look for the second type of teacher.

For example, if I want to grow my organization, Light of Jesus, to the next level, I had to search for the second type of teacher: Those who actually built huge organizations.

So one day, I visited Bro. Mike Velarde of El Shaddai to learn from him. Bro. Mike and I may have different styles and beliefs (and different fashion tastes too), but as an organizer, no one can match his ability to gather one million people in Luneta. Bro. Mike has been so kind and gracious to me, sharing his vast experience. You may not like his red barong, but if you can build an organization as big as El Shaddai (probably 8 million members),I guess you can wear any kind of barong you want.

And would you believe? I’m also learning church-building strategies from Pastor Apollo Quiboloy, now heading 3-million members in only 22 short years. I don’t agree with his theology. When we’re together, my Bishop friends and I debate with him about his doctrines. (We regularly meet because we’re all members of the Presidential Council for Values Formation under Malacanang, working for the country.) But that doesn’t stop me from admiring Pastor Apollo’s excellent leadership skills. So when we meet, aside from theological debate, I sit down with him and learn his church-building strategies. Pastor Apollo has been very gracious to me too, and I’ve learned a lot in the area of church growth.

I also have financial mentors who are millionaires and billionaires.

I have family mentors who have great marriages and are fantastic parents.

I have spiritual mentors who live with profound love and holiness and inspire me to do the same.

Go and get terrific people in your life.

Don’t Get Derailed When Your
Old Friends Become Jealous

I’ve expanded my inner circle of friends.

Sometimes, my old inner circle becomes jealous. They say in Taglish, “Bo, others ka na.” They say that I have replaced them.

No, I have not. I’ve not replaced my inner circle, I’ve just expanded it.

My inner circle now includes leaders, preachers, businessmen, real estate investors, bishops, computer gurus, marketing experts, educators, authors, etc.

In fact, if you want to keep on growing, you’ve got to keep growing your inner circle of friends. There’s no other way.

One last thing: Check the net-worth of the people you hangout with. Most likely, you’ll mirror each other’s average income. If you want an increase in your income, hangout with people who earn, save, invest, and give more than you do. Learn from them!

Terrific Person #4:
Spend Time With God, Who Else?

Need I say more?

Jesus was committed to daily prayer: And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he (Jesus) went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed.[8]

But here’s the problem: Many people don’t worship God, but a caricature of God.

If you really examine their God, He’s cruel, legalistic, insecure, and tyrannical.
We need to change our image of God, because we become exactly like the God we worship. In the end, we too will become cruel, legalistic, insecure, and tyrannical. (Have you ever wondered why many religious people are poor reflections of the love of God? This is the reason.)

We’ll discuss more of this in another article very soon.

Step #3:
Control Your Media

Remember the two powerful forces that shape your life.

First are relationships.

Second is media.

Like relationships, say “No” to toxic media and say “Yes” to terrific media.

When it comes to media, remember one very important thing: You have very limited time. Bill Gates, the richest man in the world, has exactly the same amount of hours a beggar has. When it comes to time, we’re all equal.

So if you watch dumb, useless, mindless, inane TV shows like those broadcasted today, you’re throwing away precious time—and money. Time that you should have used for more inspiring media.

People wonder why there’s no growth in their life.

One probable answer: Because they waste so much time in front of the TV set. Noonday shows. Showbiz gossip. Telenovelas.

I urge you to read inspiring books instead. Or watch great movies. Or listen to terrific talks. If you want to grow, control your media.

Conclusion:
Are You The Good Samaritan?
I know.

The most controversial part in this article is saying “No” to Toxic People.

But let me insist that one of the reasons why we have hidden addictions is because we’re escaping from the inner pain of having no personal boundaries. We keep on saying yes to toxic people, we’re actually losing control of our lives. This lost of control is maddening and subconsciously drives us to where we seemingly feel have control—our hidden addiction. When we drink, or smoke, or lust, or shop constantly, or eat compulsively, or become religiously addicted, we feel some semblance of control. (Obviously, it’s fake. We really have no control over this area as well.)

Friend, you need to set boundaries. Or the world will conquer you.

If you grew up listening to sermons about the Good Samaritan[9] in Church , you were trained to help people and feel guilty when you don’t.

Remember the story? A guy was robbed and left dying on the road. A Priest and a Teacher of the Law passed by and didn’t bother to stop. The Samaritan however stopped, bandaged his wounds, took him in an inn, and paid for all his expenses.

Wow, what a loving man.

But we usually take for granted a very important part of that story: After helping the wounded man, the Good Samaritan actually left him with the inn keeper because he had to take care of his own business! He didn’t forget his own life! How could he keep on helping if he doesn’t keep earning from his business?

Here’s another lesson: The Good Samaritan also asked help from others–the innkeeper. Because you don’t help alone. You’re not superman.

Friend, be the Good Samaritan.

Because the Good Samaritan didn’t love others only.

He also loved himself.

My friend, if you want to create a new inner world, you need to create a new outer world. Jesus said, And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; if he does, the wine will burst the skins, and the wine is lost, and so are the skins; but new wine is for fresh skins.

God is giving you new wine for your life.
Make new wineskins!

James Parmis Ministries – www.JamesParmis.com

James Parmis Ministries
http://www.JamesParmis.com

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Are you Ready for a Promotion?

Today’s Scripture

“God you have enlarged me in my time of distress.” (Psalm 4:1)

Today’s Word from Joel and Victoria

Before you are going to see your dreams come to pass, you have to be prepared for promotion. The way you respond in your time of adversity shows your readiness to take the next step. Believing that God will sustain you during your difficult time builds your faith and will take you to new levels of victory.

David said in Psalm 4:1: “God you have enlarged me in my time of distress.” God will never waste a trial, but uses them to “enlarge” you and make you stronger. Resistance builds strength, and you must resist the defeat that the enemy tries to bring. Stand strong in the face of your adversity. Speak God’s Word over your situation and declare that you have the victory! Sing a song of praise and thank the Lord for His everlasting faithfulness. Know that with the Lord on your side, you will come out stronger, and experience victory in every area of your life!

A Prayer for Today

God, I praise Your name even in the midst of adversity. Thank you for your sustaining strength and perfect purpose for my life. No matter what trials are before me I will have faith in you and never doubt Your love for me. I know I will be stronger on the other side and experience complete victory! In Jesus’ name – Amen.

James Parmis Ministries - www.JamesParmis.com

James Parmis Ministries
http://www.JamesParmis.com

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Love The Sinner And The Saint Within
By: Bo Sanchez

Do You Want To Get Rid Of Your Destructive Bad Habits?

Love Yourself.

Would you believe?

I’ve been preaching for 27 years now.

And in the first fifteen years of my preaching ministry, from 1979 to 1994, I never once preached about “loving yourself”. If you doubt me, look at my preaching notes and you’ll find nothing of this idea. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Zip. Why?

Because I felt that loving oneself was another way of saying “selfishness”. So if you told me that I would one day write an article about loving yourself, I would call you nuts. “Blasphemy!” I’d say to you with the vehemence of a snorting bull.

That’s how I interpreted what Jesus said in the Bible, “If you want to be my disciple, carry your cross, deny yourself, and follow me.” Because Jesus wanted us to die to ourselves, how could I tell people to love themselves? Isn’t that the very opposite of what Jesus wanted us to do?

Here was my belief then: The SELF was the enemy of GOD. So why love it?
So I told people to forget their own needs—even their basic, valid, legitimate needs. For if Jesus gave His life on the cross for us, how can we not do otherwise?

I Was Trying To Love God—
But I Felt Miserable.
What Was I Doing Wrong?

But along the way, I got into trouble.

I was trying to love God, but it was as though I was bumping on a brick wall. I failed and I couldn’t understand why I was so miserable. I’d given up everything for Him, so why did I feel empty and disconnected?

And here was my bigger problem: Why was I still enslaved by various hidden addictions?

Along the way, I also met a lot of good people like myself. Good, wonderful, spiritual people who wanted to follow God all the way. But they too were mired in hang-ups and addictions that made them discombobulated.

Was Christian life this… bad?

What was wrong with us?

And then there were my special “visitations of God”.

Supernatural moments in prayer that blew me away. These were specific times when I felt God pierce through my belief system—where He would just love me. No ifs, no buts, no conditions. He would love me as is, where is. I would feel so loved, I couldn’t understand it.

And to my horror, it was as though He was inviting me to love myself as well, as is, where is. Naturally, I couldn’t understand it. It went against my rigid legalistic theology and so I would “cast out” that inner voice. Wasn’t I the enemy? Wasn’t I the sinner that needed to be disciplined, chastised, and punished? What was this idea of “just loving myself as is, where is”?

Heresy!
But as the years went by, I began to understand.
It took another ten years—from 1990 to 2000—for this healing to happen…

Deny Myself?

There Was No SELF To Deny!

Slowly, I understood why I couldn’t love God.

How could I deny myself when I didn’t have a SELF?

How could I die to myself if nothing was alive in me?

How could I give up if there was nothing to give up?

Let me explain: Deep within, I was so broken. I never valued myself. I never felt good about myself. I was filled with shame. So to cover my shame, I’d try to be good. To fill up my need for love, I tried to love God. But the more I tried, the more empty I felt…

Today, I realized that I can never give what I don’t have.

I can’t love God—or anyone else for that matter—if I didn’t first love ME.

My favorite verse in the Bible? We love because He first loved us.[1]That is so true! The only way I can love God is if I receive His love for me. And it is His powerful love that will reconstruct me. Only then can I love Him.
This is the lesson we get from Judas Iscariot…

Why Don’t We Pray To St. Judas Iscariot?

Have you ever asked this question?

Probably not.

Because in your mind, you take it for granted that Judas is rotting in Hell.

Because he betrayed Jesus big time.

I beg to differ.

Whether or not Judas is rotting in Hell is another question I dare not answer. But I have an answer to the question why Catholics don’t pray to St. Judas Iscariot. No, it’s not because he betrayed Jesus.

Because if you open your Bible, you realize it is filled to the brim with betrayers and murderers and adulterers and liars and deceivers and connivers and cheats… The reason why Catholics don’t pray to a St. Judas Iscariot is simple: Because Judas didn’t allow God to love him. (By the way, I’m not sharing to you something I picked up from the Catechism or from a doctrine. This is merely my very strong personal belief.)

That was precisely the message of the story of Peter’s denials. He betrayed Jesus too (and three times at that!), but ended up the first Pope. Why?

Because Peter loved the sinner and the saint within. He repented, forgave himself, and went back to God.

Judas didn’t. Instead, he killed himself. The Bible says, So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.[2]

Judas didn’t become a canonized saint not because he betrayed Jesus. Judas didn’t become a canonized saint because he didn’t learn to receive God’s love.

Thus, he never learned how to love himself.

Are You Killing Yourself?

In my last article, I said, Don’t focus on your addiction.

Because when you focus on your addiction, you end up in despair.

And despair is the end of the road.

Like Judas, many people commit some type of suicide. They may not kill themselves physically, but in their despair, they kill their dreams, or they kill their relationships, or they kill the blessings that God wants to give to them.

You need to acknowledge your addiction (don’t deny it), but you don’t have to meditate on it. Your eyes should be on God’s love for you.

Focus on God’s dream for you instead.

And you can do that if you love yourself.

Loving yourself means loving the sinner and the saint within you.

You’re a mix of the good and the bad, and you need to love that mix.

Unless You Love Yourself, You Jump From One Hidden Addiction To Another

Unless this happens, your addictions may never go away.

When we don’t love ourselves, our love tanks cause painful emotions to rise. So we may stop one addiction only to replace it with another, perhaps a more hidden addiction. I know of some former drinkers and smokers who, after removing these vices, unconsciously replaced them with more acceptable addictions, like workaholism and religious legalism, or a food addiction or TV addiction.

If you want to get rid of a destructive bad habit, you need to love yourself.

How should you love yourself?

How should you love the saint and sinner within?

Let me share with you four powerful ways of loving yourself that will change your life forever:
1. Forgive Yourself
2. Accept Your Weaknesses
3. Feel Your Feelings
4. Trust Your Needs

Let me share these with you one by one…

1. Forgive Yourself

For years, I would fall into habitual sexual sins. And when I did, I had a hard time believing that God would still forgive me. I was filled with disgust. I was so fed up with my sin, I figured He was fed up with me too. I projected onto Him my disgust and imagined that He was tired of forgiving me again and again.

Yet every time I prayed, something in me would say, “God isn’t like that.” And deeper in my heart, I would hear His voice say, “Bo, nothing you do can ever diminish my love for you.”

These words burned within me. I searched the Bible and found these words…and claimed them for myself.

For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.[3]
I am he that blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and will not remember your sins.[4]
If we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.[5]
Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.[6]

Ultimately, it was this incredible love that healed me of my addiction.

Can You Be As Forgiving To Yourself?

In one large gathering, a young woman came up to me and asked, “Can you hear my confession?” I shook my head, “I’m sorry, I’m not a priest.” But I saw desperation in her eyes as she told me, “But can I still confess my sins to you?”

“I can listen to you, pray for you, but I can’t absolve your sins,” I said.
She said, “That’s fine. I just need someone to talk to…” We walked to a corner of the hall and she poured her heart to me, sharing her guilt to me. As she did so, I felt an urging from God to tell her, “My dear friend, God loves you more than you can ever imagine,” and she began to cry almost uncontrollably.

She said, “Bo, I know God loves me. But I don’t love myself. I know God forgives me. But I can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done.”

Through the years, I’ve met many people like her who already asked for God’s forgiveness, but can’t seem to forgive themselves. Even if the Bible says, Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful,[7] it’s funny how people aren’t merciful to themselves.

So I told her, “Then you’re very proud of your sin.”
Her eyes bulged, obviously shocked.
“What did you say again?” she asked.

Are You Proud Of Your Sin?

I told her, “You fall into pride on three counts. First, you seem to think that your sin is bigger than God’s love for you. That’s pride. Friend, God’s love is bigger than your sin…”

“And second, you seem to think that your moral standards are higher than God’s standards. That’s pride. Allow Him to love you in your brokenness. And give yourself permission to love YOU. And third…”

“Did I hear it right? Give myself permission to love me?”

I knew that those words were new to her.

“Yes! And third, all this time, you’ve been focusing on your sin. Am I right?”
She nodded.

“You think God wants you to grieve and wallow in guilt? You’re wrong. When you focus on your sin, you’re not focusing on God. Focus on God. Focus on God’s love for you. Or you fall into despair.” I began to think of Judas and how despair killed him.

The Bible says Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.[8]

How do we fall? Let me count the ways…

What Happens If You Don’t Forgive Yourself

If you don’t forgive yourself, you may have these problems…
o You’ll have unresolved guilt nagging you
o You’ll always be recalling past failures
o You’ll be pessimistic and negative, or even suffer from chronic depression
o You’ll be seeking revenge toward yourself at different times
o You’ll manifest self-destructive behaviors.
o You’ll be disrespectful towards yourself
o You’ll be indifferent toward yourself and your needs
o You’ll be defensive and exhibit distant behavior towards others
o You’ll be controlled by your fear of failure, rejection, and non-approval
o You’ll have an emotional vacuum in which little or no emotions are shown
o You’ll be suspicious about others’ motives when they’re accepting of you
o You’ll experience chronic hostility, sarcasm, and cynicism

It is a sad life!

Make a decision now to forgive yourself now.

Before Anything Else, Discern:
Are They Real Sins Or Imagined Sins?

Before we even forgive ourselves—or even ask forgiveness from God—answer one question. Have you really sinned against God? Or have you just failed someone else’s standards?

Sometimes, we can set up our selves for big-time guilt by making lots of rules that God never wanted us to make.

For example, in the 1980’s, I used to teach my community members this spiritual regimen: To pray one hour a day, read the Bible one hour a day, and read other spiritual books one hour a day—for a total of 3 hours a day. I also encouraged them to go for daily Mass, daily Rosary, and an hour before the Blessed Sacrament. I was still a young teen then, and I could certainly do all of that, but I was oblivious to the fact that my members had jobs and kids to take care of. Boy, did I set them up for a very long guilt trip! (Forgive me, Lord.) None of them could ever measure up to my standards. But those rules that I made were just mine, not God’s rules. (Leaders need to be careful not to set people up to discouragement, or we rob them of joy in their life with God.)

I also remember a woman who felt guilty for disappointing her husband again and again. She would constantly ask for forgiveness from God for being a terrible wife. But when she described her husband to me, I instantly knew that he was the problem. He wanted his clothes to be pressed in a particular way, his egg cooked in a particular way, his newspaper laid out on the table each morning in a particular way. And if his wife will not do it in this particular way, he labelled her as a disappointing wife. Not true! I told her that she has not sinned and there was nothing to ask forgiveness from God.

But if we have indeed sinned against God, then let us take these next two steps…

Forgive Yourself Now!
Let’s pray.
Place your hands on your chest.

Step #1: Ask God For Forgiveness
Lord, forgive me now, in Jesus name. Forgive me for all my sins and failures. I believe You love me. I believe that Your love is bigger than my sins and failures. Today, I receive your forgiveness. Thank you for loving me!

Step #2: Forgive Yourself
Today, I make a choice to forgive ME. I know that God has forgiven me. I don’t have to be perfect for me to love ME. I am a very good person because God made me very good. As God loves me, so do I love ME. I no longer need to condemn me. I am forgiven by God, and I forgive ME, in Jesus name. Amen.
Let’s now move to the second step of loving yourself…

2. Accept Your Weaknesses

What’s the difference between forgiving yourself and accepting your weakness?

Answer: We only forgive ourselves for our sin. We don’t forgive ourselves for being weak. Because being weak isn’t a sin. It’s part of being a human being.

Let me give you an analogy. I know of some parents who scold (note: scream) at their kids for being noisy and playful. At moments like these, I want to intervene and say, “Mother, listen to yourself. You’re actually angry at them for being kids?”

That’s what we do too to ourselves. Because we are our harshest critics.

If you want to love yourself, you need to celebrate who you are—your strengths and weaknesses combined. Especially your weaknesses!

Fire Your Inner Parrot
Let me tell you a story.

On her way home, a woman was walking on the sidewalk. She saw a parrot in a pet shop window. Upon seeing her, the parrot said, “Lady, you are really ugly!”

Shocked, the woman walked away in a huff.

The next day, she walked again on the same road. She saw again the parrot peering through the pet shop window. And sure enough, when the parrot saw her, it said, “Lady, you are really ugly!”

The woman couldn’t take it anymore. She barged in the pet shop and told the owner, “Your bird outside has been telling me that I’m ugly. You better do something about that parrot. When I walk here tomorrow, and that bird says the same thing about me, I’ll sue you!” The owner was very apologetic and said, “It won’t happen again, Ma’am.”

The next day, she walked home on that same road. Once again, she sees the parrot, and the parrot sees her. She stopped and with an icy stare asked, “Yes?”

The bird, strutting back and forth, cocked, “You know.”

You Don’t Have To Be Perfect To Love Yourself

Friends, many of us have an inner parrot that tells us, “You’re ugly.”

We have an inner parrot that we carry around within us, cruel and rude. We actually don’t need the devil anymore to accuse us and damn us to Hell. Because we do it ourselves.

These feelings of shame drive us to our addictions.

Friend, fire your inner parrot. (Better yet, fry him with olive oil, a little garlic, and chilli.)

Start telling yourself the truth: That you’re God’s child and beautiful beyond imagination. And that God will use even your worst weaknesses.

Remember: You don’t have to be perfect to be loved.

Your Weakness Is A Gift

In the Bible, St. Paul boasted of his “Thorn in the Flesh”.

It was his weakness. Bible scholars don’t know what it was, but here are some intelligent guesses:
o temptation
o persecution
o sexual desires
o physical appearance
o epilepsy
o eyesight trouble
o chronic malaria fever

But whatever it was, about this weakness, he said these immortal, mind-boggling words. “At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, “My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.”[9]

How can your weakness be gift?

Your Weakness Blesses You In 3 Great Ways

First, my weaknesses humble me. It makes me depend on God even more. And I see how He uses me mightily despite all my weaknesses! That is why the Bible says, God chooses what the world considers weak in order to shame the powerful.[10]

Second, my weaknesses make me more merciful towards others. I believe that someone who easily judges others hasn’t yet accepted his own weaknesses. If he had, he wouldn’t be judgmental. But because he hasn’t, he projects his self-anger towards other people.

Third, my weaknesses bond me with others in a way that nothing else can. When I share the story of my past and my addiction to someone else, I disrobe my defences and become vulnerable to him. In this way, I also give permission to that person to disrobe his defences as well.

Friend, thank God for your weaknesses, your struggles, and your problems.

They are great gifts that will bless you and others.

Let’s now go to the third way of loving yourself.

3. Feel Your Feelings

A long time ago, I didn’t feel my feelings. I didn’t bother with them. If they became intense, I shunned them.

To me, all desires were sinful. And all emotions were just part of the “flesh”, not of the “spirit”. Feelings were the enemies of God. At the very least, they were bothersome things that distracted me from doing God’s will.

No wonder I was in such an internal mess!

Because when we don’t feel our feelings, we treat ourselves with disrespect!

I was acting very rudely towards myself.

My Love Tank was empty because I wasn’t loving myself enough to even listen to my feelings. Remember: Feelings are the windows of the soul. When I wasn’t feeling my feelings, I didn’t have a clue what was happening inside me.

Again, self was an enemy of God, so why bother?

Just focus on God’s Word, and viola, everything will be solved, right?

How wrong I was.

Because God was speaking to me through my most negative emotions, and I wasn’t listening.

Identify Your Feeling; And Identify The Source Of Your Feelings

Sometimes, I can’t even identify what I was feeling.

I just knew it was a bad feeling—that’s why I was running away from it.
I didn’t know if it was sadness or fear or worry or anger.
But when I run away from my bad feelings, I run away from myself.
Today, I know what to do.
I sit down, be quiet for a while, and identify what I feel. I don’t just go rushing about in my busy day.
When I identify it, then I feel the feeling. I feel it before God’s Presence.
I also try to identify the source of these feelings.
Why am I feeling this way?
Is there any action that I need to do?
Sometimes, this first step of “feeling my feelings” is all that’s needed. I don’t have to do anything else.
By feeling what I feel, I respect myself.
By feeling what I feel, I heal myself.
It may take time for the painful feelings to pass, but ultimately, I rise from it whole and peaceful.
Sometimes, I have to do something else. Perhaps I need to surrender to God. Perhaps I need to do something concrete, like talk to someone or solve a problem.
In the End,
You Still Do What God Wants You To Do

No, I’m not supposed to follow my feelings blindly.

That’s from the crazy guys that preach, “Do what you feel. If you feel like punching someone, then punch a pillow or wall. If you feel like screaming, then go inside your room and scream like hell. If you want to get drunk, then drink…” I don’t buy that strategy.

I didn’t say, “Do what you feel.” I said, “Feel what you feel.”
When you feel your feelings before the Presence of God’s love, in the end, you still do what God wants you to do. But you allowed yourself to feel your painful feelings, to validate them, and to listen to its inner messages.

This is a very important step of loving yourself.

Remember what I said about the immediate cause of our addictions? Because we want to escape our painful emotions.

But by entering into our painful feelings with boldness, we realize that they’re not as terrifying as we feared them to be. After awhile, we no longer need our addictions. Because we no longer need escape routes from our painful emotions.

Finally, we come to the fourth step of loving ourselves.

4. Trust Your Needs

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been taught by my brand of religion not to trust my feelings—and not to trust my needs as well. Because I figured my desires are most likely from the flesh, not from the spirit.

The message I received was this: “Fear yourself. Fear your desires. Fear your selfishness. Don’t trust yourself. Instead, trust God. Trust your group. Trust your leader. Trust the system…” (This is the reason why there is so much spiritual abuse happening in religious groups.)

Oh, what a terrible thing to believe!

Priests, preachers, and pastors love to emphasize this message: “Don’t trust yourself!” Directly or indirectly, they will ask their members to simply rely in the leaders’ wisdom and decisions. Unintentionally, they produce people who are infants in their emotional and spiritual growth.

Instead of freedom, religion shackles us to immaturity. (God calls us to be childlike, not childish.)

God Trusts You— When Will You Learn To Trust You?

Instead, we need to hear a new message.

What message? That You’re made in the image and likeness of God![11] That you’re not just good. You’re very good![12] So trust yourself because God trusts you. He trusts you by calling you His child. He trusts you by planting His Kingdom in you. He trusts you by dwelling within you. He trusts you by commissioning you to be His presence in the world. He trusts you to love the way He does…”
Wow! (Believe me, when I pray, when I read the Bible, when I listen to God’s voice in the depths of my heart, I say “Wow!” many, many times.)
And one way of trusting yourself is to trust your needs.

Not your sinful needs. (That’s what you need to deny.) But your legitimate, valid, and God-planted needs.

Meet those needs. Even your need for joy.

Some people view all pleasure as bad. Their unwritten motto: “If it feels good, it must be bad.” That’s not true.

I believe life was given by God to be enjoyed to the full. To be savoured with delight. So taste. Breathe. Relish. Dance. Sing. Live!

When we enjoy life, we allow others to enjoy as well. (Ever wondered why some religious people are so stuck-up, they don’t allow anyone to enjoy life?)

Love yourself!

What is Draining You?
Get Rid Of It If You Can.

I don’t intend to write a complete list of how you need to care for yourself. (I’ll do that in another article.)

But here’s a question I want you to ask yourself: What is draining you?

What person, thing, activity, group, habit, situation, and places in your life drains your joy and life and energy and holiness? What sucks your happiness?

If you can get rid of that draining thing, do so!

By doing that, you’ll grow up and have more life and energy for the right things that God wants you to do.

In other words, I’m asking you to set your boundaries.

Let me list the probable “draining” things in your life…

1. Take care of your emotional health.
o I spend a lot of time with “emotional vampires”—people who are so dependent on me, or those who are exceedingly negative, or those who emotionally manipulate me…
o I still hang on to a dead-end romantic relationship
o I don’t have close friends
o I watch too much TV
o I don’t have time just to rest and reflect, to read and plan
2. Take care of your family life
o My relationship with my spouse and kids is shallow
o I have a long-standing conflict with a family member
o My home environment is chaotic
o I feel I’m not a great mother (father, son, daughter…)
3. Take care of your professional life
o I don’t enjoy my job
o I feel that I’m not fulfilling my mission in my job
o I feel that my core gifts can be used elsewhere
o I can no longer work with my co-workers
o I don’t see a future in my career
4. Take care of your physical health
o I don’t eat the right food
o I don’t sleep enough
o I don’t exercise enough
o I have a vice that’s robbing me of my health
5. Take care of your financial health
o I let “parasites” depend on me instead of letting them stand on their own
o I have huge debts
o I pay my bills late
o I don’t know where my money is going each month
o I don’t have savings and investment plan
o I know I won’t have enough for my retirement and old age
6. Take care of your spiritual health
o I’m in bondage to an addiction that’s draining me spiritually
o I focus on my sin, not on God’s love for me
o I don’t spend time with God
o I lack a faith community of friends to support me
o I feel I’m not following my own moral compass
o I feel I’m not serving God and others

If you checked any of the items above, do something about it! Ask for help.
But don’t get drained to the point that there’s nothing to give anymore.

Love The Sinner And The Saint Within

We’re tempted to only see the sinner in us.
Remind yourself that there’s a saint in you too.
Last July, I had a few birthday parties among close friends.

It has been our tradition that we honor birthday celebrants—so it was my turn to be in the hot seat.

I have to be honest with you. It’s always unnerving to be honored by friends for an hour—but after awhile, I felt my Love Tank filled up.

For example, one friend recalled how I helped him during a time of need. (I did? Really?) Another friend shared how she was so touched by my compassion. Another friend honored me for how I stood by him even when everyone else rejected him.

Remind Yourself That You’re A Saint Within

One day, a teacher asked her students in class to write the names of the other students on a piece of paper. “And leave space between each name,” she instructed.

When they finished, the teacher said, “Underneath each name, I want you to write the good things you see in that person.” Immediately, the kids busied themselves with the task and took the whole class to finish it.

The teacher took the papers home and collated the material. On one piece of paper per child, she wrote all the positive qualities written by their classmates.

On the next class, she handed out the papers to the kids. They were very happy to read the letters. “Wow, am I really this person?” some of them gushed.

Many, many years later, the teacher received a phone call. One of her former students, who had become a soldier, was killed in battle. Would she want to attend the funeral?

She went and saw many of her former students condoling with the bereaved family. As she stood beside the coffin, looking at the lifeless body of a young man in uniform inside, a middle-aged woman approached her. “Are you my son’s grade school teacher?”

“Yes,” she said, “you must be his mother. My deepest condolences.”
“I’d like to show something to you,” the mother said. “My son had this inside his wallet when he died.” She pulled out a worn-out piece of paper. It was obvious that it had been folded and unfolded many times.

Even before it was opened, the teacher already knew what it was. It was the piece of paper that contained the list of positive qualities his classmates saw in him. Kept and read all through the years.

By that time, her other students had gathered around both of them.

A young man beside the teacher said, “Uh, I carry mine wherever I go too.”

A woman from behind said, “I still keep mine. It’s in my diary.”
Another man said, “I display my list on my desk at home.”

Another woman said, “It seems like all of us kept that paper all these years!”

The teacher was moved beyond words.

Why would a simple piece of paper mean so much?

Because here’s the truth: Life can be rough. At various time, it can even be cruel. Every time we fail, every time we receive criticism, every time we get rejected, we doubt our worth. We doubt our goodness.

We are very desperate for love.

We need to love the saint within us.

Friend, love yourself.

Each day, celebrate your positive qualities. Celebrate your goodness. Celebrate your beauty.

Thank God for how wonderful He made you.

Love the sinner and the saint within.

James Parmis Ministries - www.JamesParmis.com

James Parmis Ministries
http://www.JamesParmis.com

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The Door Is Open…Will You Come?

Today’s Scripture

“A wide door has been open to me and with it are many adversaries.” 1 Corinthians 16:9

Today’s Word from Joel and Victoria

God is always giving us opportunities to move forward in life. It is God’s desire that you grow and reach your full potential. Anytime you take a step forward, the enemy will try to bring opposition and adversity against you. But God promises that through Him, you can overcome any opposition the enemy brings your way.

When you step out in faith and the opposition comes, stand your ground and keep doing what you know to do. Keep on praying. Keep reading and speaking the Word. Keep going to church. Keep walking in love and forgiveness, and keep your heart tender. When the enemy sees that you are more determined than he is, he’ll back down and you will move forward to new levels of victory! Stay focused and full of joy no matter what comes against you. As you do, you will overcome opposition and discover the champion in you!

A Prayer for Today

God, I know it is Your will that I grow strong in my faith. I want to reach my full potential. Help me to push through the doors of opportunity that You open for me-no matter what holds me back. Thank you for challenging me to live a life of victory! In Jesus’ name – Amen.

James Parmis Ministries - www.JamesParmis.com

James Parmis Ministries
http://www.JamesParmis.com

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Plan to do God’s Will

Today’s Scripture

“Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.” Proverbs 4:25

Today’s Word from Joel and Victoria

In order to fulfill your destiny, you have to know your purpose. You need a plan and then you must work that plan. You should wake up each day knowing where you’re headed, which direction you’re taking, and what you are going to accomplish–and then stick with it! Don’t allow the distractions and busyness of life get you off course. Ask yourself, “Is what I’m doing moving me towards my God-given destiny? Am I staying focused? Is this my purpose in life, or am I just wasting my time being busy.”

Proverbs 4:25 says keep your eyes fixed straight ahead. Don’t look to the left and don’t look to the right. Don’t be distracted and spend your time and energy on things that are not helping you fulfill your destiny.

If you need direction for your life today, ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to order your time and arrange your schedule to accomplish the Lord’s will. Remember, God’s plans are blessed and as you walk in His plan for your life, you will experience His abundant blessing on everything you set your hand to!

A Prayer for Today

God, help me focus on your purpose for my life. I want to have a plan everyday to live out your will for my life. Help me to order my days to fulfill my God-given purpose. Bless my steps, God! In Jesus’ name – Amen.

James Parmis Ministries - www.JamesParmis.com

James Parmis Ministries
http://www.JamesParmis.com

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You Are Pleasing to God!

Today’s Scripture

“Before you were ever formed in your mother’s womb, God saw you and He approved you.” (Jeremiah 1:5)

Today’s Word from Joel and Victoria

You are approved by Almighty God! You are created in His image and you’re the apple of His eye. You did not choose God, but He chose you and He is pleased with you–His most precious creation.

Notice that verse doesn’t say that God approves you as long as you don’t have any faults, or as long as you don’t make any mistakes. No, God approves you unconditionally. No matter how many weaknesses you may think you have today, no matter how many times you fall in your walk with the Lord, you’ve got to get right back up again and hold your head up high. Don’t allow the enemy to bring strife into your life by deceiving you into thinking that you are not “good enough” for the plan of God. Stand strong in your thoughts about yourself knowing that not only have you been chosen, but you are approved by Almighty God.

A Prayer for Today

God, remind me that no matter how many times I fail or fall short of Your expectations, You have already given me Your eternal “stamp of approval.” I was made in Your image. Help me to have a healthy, positive self image so I can face the world with confidence. In Jesus’ name – Amen.

James Parmis Ministries - www.JamesParmis.com

James Parmis Ministries
http://www.JamesParmis.com

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